We attended the CNN future summit recording the other day. The topic was “the future of transportation”. Among the panelists were an ex-astronaut and a woman who paid 20 million USD for a space explorer – she went onto the International Space Station for 11 days (I think). And when asked if she would be willing to do it again, she said, “in a heartbeat.”
Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying what’s right or what’s wrong. I mean, everyone is entitled to his/her own aspirations and everything else.
What set me thinking was, really, why are we trying to venture into the outer space, spending billions and billions of dollars, trying to “conquer” the universe, while we can’t even look after our own people, ie the human race?
Science is good. Research is good. The objective of science, I think, should be how to make life better for people. It may sounds very philosophical, but had Albert Einstein known that the atomic bomb was to be used to harm lives, he wouldn’t have participated in the initiative of making the bomb.
We can’t stop social stratification from happening. In a race, there will be some people moving forward and some lagging behind. If, as according to functionalists, there is a function for social stratification, then I think its function should be for the higher class / rich / power elite, to help those at the bottom of the strata, so that they have the mean to at least compete in this world.
After all, it’s really about the human race.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
I Am Getting Old...
I have to confess this post is quite irrelevant to sociology / social psychology. OK, maybe a little (I try). There’s this chapter we never covered.
I reconnected with a long lost friend recently, thanks to the Internet. Well, maybe I should say ex-colleague. We haven’t seen each other for the past 13 years. If I remember correctly, the last time we were in touch with each other was over the phone. Then he left to go back to Australia and we lost touch since.
Then there are these two friends: one was a friend from secondary school, Kaye; Steph went to the same primary and secondary schools as I did, but we didn’t really hang out with each other during school days.
We reconnected 5 years after we left secondary school, in Singapore. We have all ended up working in Singapore. Steph happened to be working in the same company as me, but in different branch. We met each other on a company family day. Then she hooked me up with Kaye again. And we have been meeting occasionally ever since.
I felt that I am getting old (especially when I am going to celebrate my nth birthday soon). You know it when all you do is reminiscing the past.
But of course that’s not the point. The point is: it is not easy to maintain a relationship. Psychologists have identified the various factors that influence the ups and downs of our close relationships: two relevant ones are “equity” and “self-disclosure”. Steph, Kaye, and I, we all contributed to maintaining our friendship; we take turns to initiate our get-togethers, we make an attempt to celebrate our birthdays, we provide support for each other because we share similar background, certain memories, and values. And the outcomes we receive are proportional to what we contribute to it – equity is reached.
As a relationship (not just romantic ones) grows, we reveal more and more of ourselves to one another. In other words, we know each other better. We have shared with each other our sorrows and our happiness – our journey in life – ups and downs in our romantic relationships, marriage, religions, death of family member, our MOTHERS… All these strengthen our friendship.
I guess it is not so much of the time you spend with each other. It is the emotional support you give each other that really matters. I feel that to maintain a relationship, each must make an effort. And when you do give (as in contribute to the relationship), don’t ask for returns – in the “rule of equity”, a relationship like that will die off eventually. But when you start asking for returns, you will be suffering.
Trust me. I’ve been there.
I reconnected with a long lost friend recently, thanks to the Internet. Well, maybe I should say ex-colleague. We haven’t seen each other for the past 13 years. If I remember correctly, the last time we were in touch with each other was over the phone. Then he left to go back to Australia and we lost touch since.
Then there are these two friends: one was a friend from secondary school, Kaye; Steph went to the same primary and secondary schools as I did, but we didn’t really hang out with each other during school days.
We reconnected 5 years after we left secondary school, in Singapore. We have all ended up working in Singapore. Steph happened to be working in the same company as me, but in different branch. We met each other on a company family day. Then she hooked me up with Kaye again. And we have been meeting occasionally ever since.
I felt that I am getting old (especially when I am going to celebrate my nth birthday soon). You know it when all you do is reminiscing the past.
But of course that’s not the point. The point is: it is not easy to maintain a relationship. Psychologists have identified the various factors that influence the ups and downs of our close relationships: two relevant ones are “equity” and “self-disclosure”. Steph, Kaye, and I, we all contributed to maintaining our friendship; we take turns to initiate our get-togethers, we make an attempt to celebrate our birthdays, we provide support for each other because we share similar background, certain memories, and values. And the outcomes we receive are proportional to what we contribute to it – equity is reached.
As a relationship (not just romantic ones) grows, we reveal more and more of ourselves to one another. In other words, we know each other better. We have shared with each other our sorrows and our happiness – our journey in life – ups and downs in our romantic relationships, marriage, religions, death of family member, our MOTHERS… All these strengthen our friendship.
I guess it is not so much of the time you spend with each other. It is the emotional support you give each other that really matters. I feel that to maintain a relationship, each must make an effort. And when you do give (as in contribute to the relationship), don’t ask for returns – in the “rule of equity”, a relationship like that will die off eventually. But when you start asking for returns, you will be suffering.
Trust me. I’ve been there.
Friday, November 10, 2006
We Are Back
We met up with two graduates yesterday. Mrs Nah and I shared with each other later, that it's occassion like this that really made us proud and feel the sense of satisfaction: seeing that our students finally grow up, mature, starting their own career, become sensible...
Just like our students, we have all been deviant in our lives.
I was the depressed teenager, decided to major in psychology (which freaked The Mom out because it was such a "huh-what-is-that" subject) even though I had no idea what to do with the degree after that... Mrs Nah wanted to do radio since primary school... we were not quite "approved" by our parents based on their yardsticks. But the most important thing is, we survived. We never went the criminal way because we were very sure of what we wanted to do. And today, our parents (still think that we are deviant because of we don't quite listen to them) sort of let us off -- our dreams before, considered devianced, turned out to be more than just alright.
I guess in our lives, we need to do something out of the ordinary sometimes. (And no that does not include smoking and smoking "sisha" and drugs and cheating and others "morally challenged" things).
Back to the graudates, they too did some deviance acts before (skipping schools etc) but at the end of the day, we learn, we grow. We might be conformists, but we know where we are heading to. And that's the most important thing - know your destination. And be appreciative.
Just like our students, we have all been deviant in our lives.
I was the depressed teenager, decided to major in psychology (which freaked The Mom out because it was such a "huh-what-is-that" subject) even though I had no idea what to do with the degree after that... Mrs Nah wanted to do radio since primary school... we were not quite "approved" by our parents based on their yardsticks. But the most important thing is, we survived. We never went the criminal way because we were very sure of what we wanted to do. And today, our parents (still think that we are deviant because of we don't quite listen to them) sort of let us off -- our dreams before, considered devianced, turned out to be more than just alright.
I guess in our lives, we need to do something out of the ordinary sometimes. (And no that does not include smoking and smoking "sisha" and drugs and cheating and others "morally challenged" things).
Back to the graudates, they too did some deviance acts before (skipping schools etc) but at the end of the day, we learn, we grow. We might be conformists, but we know where we are heading to. And that's the most important thing - know your destination. And be appreciative.
Monday, November 06, 2006
The Spring of Life
I went for a picnic with my family over the weekend. (Yes I do have a boring life).
As I grow older, I begin to understand more the importance of family members, our primary group. I am beginning to appreciate more and more that, while career and work is important, family is irreplaceable. Especially if you work in a bureaucracy. In a bureaucracy, it is the position that's important, not so much of a person. Your boss would tell you "this organisation will move like a bus and if the route of the bus is not where you are going, you get off" or something to that effect. The structure and system of a bureaucracy is there so that in case one man is down the business can go on - in other words, it is not so much of a person. I have a mixed feeling about this because I like to think that at the end of the day, it is the people that count, not the system. It's the people that would make a difference, not the system. On the other hand, I have to agree that system must be in place.
But family is different. Without a family member (especially if yours is a closed-knitted family), it makes a whole lot of difference! I remember how my late material grandfather became totally depressed after his wife passed away - he died 3 months later. And I suspected it was more because of a broken heart than other illnesses.
Family will always be there for me. No matter what happens. We share the ups and downs that happens in each other's life. At the end of the day, job and other things come and go, but family never goes away.
Which is why every time I leave home for a tour, I always, ALWAYS fear that it would be the last time I see my family. I would want to write a final note for my loved ones, leave a will, or something. This fear has grown through time. Previously, I loved flying and would never think twice. But as I get older, I am beginning to feel more because I know the time I get to spend with The Mom in particular, is decreasing as the day passes. Not that she's seriously ill, but you see, we are destined to live a certain number of years. I will never know when that day will come. And I fear that it would be sooner than I thought. When that happens, I fear that I may not be able to handle it emotionally.
Because she will forever be the spring of my life.
As I grow older, I begin to understand more the importance of family members, our primary group. I am beginning to appreciate more and more that, while career and work is important, family is irreplaceable. Especially if you work in a bureaucracy. In a bureaucracy, it is the position that's important, not so much of a person. Your boss would tell you "this organisation will move like a bus and if the route of the bus is not where you are going, you get off" or something to that effect. The structure and system of a bureaucracy is there so that in case one man is down the business can go on - in other words, it is not so much of a person. I have a mixed feeling about this because I like to think that at the end of the day, it is the people that count, not the system. It's the people that would make a difference, not the system. On the other hand, I have to agree that system must be in place.
But family is different. Without a family member (especially if yours is a closed-knitted family), it makes a whole lot of difference! I remember how my late material grandfather became totally depressed after his wife passed away - he died 3 months later. And I suspected it was more because of a broken heart than other illnesses.
Family will always be there for me. No matter what happens. We share the ups and downs that happens in each other's life. At the end of the day, job and other things come and go, but family never goes away.
Which is why every time I leave home for a tour, I always, ALWAYS fear that it would be the last time I see my family. I would want to write a final note for my loved ones, leave a will, or something. This fear has grown through time. Previously, I loved flying and would never think twice. But as I get older, I am beginning to feel more because I know the time I get to spend with The Mom in particular, is decreasing as the day passes. Not that she's seriously ill, but you see, we are destined to live a certain number of years. I will never know when that day will come. And I fear that it would be sooner than I thought. When that happens, I fear that I may not be able to handle it emotionally.
Because she will forever be the spring of my life.
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