We attended the CNN future summit recording the other day. The topic was “the future of transportation”. Among the panelists were an ex-astronaut and a woman who paid 20 million USD for a space explorer – she went onto the International Space Station for 11 days (I think). And when asked if she would be willing to do it again, she said, “in a heartbeat.”
Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying what’s right or what’s wrong. I mean, everyone is entitled to his/her own aspirations and everything else.
What set me thinking was, really, why are we trying to venture into the outer space, spending billions and billions of dollars, trying to “conquer” the universe, while we can’t even look after our own people, ie the human race?
Science is good. Research is good. The objective of science, I think, should be how to make life better for people. It may sounds very philosophical, but had Albert Einstein known that the atomic bomb was to be used to harm lives, he wouldn’t have participated in the initiative of making the bomb.
We can’t stop social stratification from happening. In a race, there will be some people moving forward and some lagging behind. If, as according to functionalists, there is a function for social stratification, then I think its function should be for the higher class / rich / power elite, to help those at the bottom of the strata, so that they have the mean to at least compete in this world.
After all, it’s really about the human race.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
I Am Getting Old...
I have to confess this post is quite irrelevant to sociology / social psychology. OK, maybe a little (I try). There’s this chapter we never covered.
I reconnected with a long lost friend recently, thanks to the Internet. Well, maybe I should say ex-colleague. We haven’t seen each other for the past 13 years. If I remember correctly, the last time we were in touch with each other was over the phone. Then he left to go back to Australia and we lost touch since.
Then there are these two friends: one was a friend from secondary school, Kaye; Steph went to the same primary and secondary schools as I did, but we didn’t really hang out with each other during school days.
We reconnected 5 years after we left secondary school, in Singapore. We have all ended up working in Singapore. Steph happened to be working in the same company as me, but in different branch. We met each other on a company family day. Then she hooked me up with Kaye again. And we have been meeting occasionally ever since.
I felt that I am getting old (especially when I am going to celebrate my nth birthday soon). You know it when all you do is reminiscing the past.
But of course that’s not the point. The point is: it is not easy to maintain a relationship. Psychologists have identified the various factors that influence the ups and downs of our close relationships: two relevant ones are “equity” and “self-disclosure”. Steph, Kaye, and I, we all contributed to maintaining our friendship; we take turns to initiate our get-togethers, we make an attempt to celebrate our birthdays, we provide support for each other because we share similar background, certain memories, and values. And the outcomes we receive are proportional to what we contribute to it – equity is reached.
As a relationship (not just romantic ones) grows, we reveal more and more of ourselves to one another. In other words, we know each other better. We have shared with each other our sorrows and our happiness – our journey in life – ups and downs in our romantic relationships, marriage, religions, death of family member, our MOTHERS… All these strengthen our friendship.
I guess it is not so much of the time you spend with each other. It is the emotional support you give each other that really matters. I feel that to maintain a relationship, each must make an effort. And when you do give (as in contribute to the relationship), don’t ask for returns – in the “rule of equity”, a relationship like that will die off eventually. But when you start asking for returns, you will be suffering.
Trust me. I’ve been there.
I reconnected with a long lost friend recently, thanks to the Internet. Well, maybe I should say ex-colleague. We haven’t seen each other for the past 13 years. If I remember correctly, the last time we were in touch with each other was over the phone. Then he left to go back to Australia and we lost touch since.
Then there are these two friends: one was a friend from secondary school, Kaye; Steph went to the same primary and secondary schools as I did, but we didn’t really hang out with each other during school days.
We reconnected 5 years after we left secondary school, in Singapore. We have all ended up working in Singapore. Steph happened to be working in the same company as me, but in different branch. We met each other on a company family day. Then she hooked me up with Kaye again. And we have been meeting occasionally ever since.
I felt that I am getting old (especially when I am going to celebrate my nth birthday soon). You know it when all you do is reminiscing the past.
But of course that’s not the point. The point is: it is not easy to maintain a relationship. Psychologists have identified the various factors that influence the ups and downs of our close relationships: two relevant ones are “equity” and “self-disclosure”. Steph, Kaye, and I, we all contributed to maintaining our friendship; we take turns to initiate our get-togethers, we make an attempt to celebrate our birthdays, we provide support for each other because we share similar background, certain memories, and values. And the outcomes we receive are proportional to what we contribute to it – equity is reached.
As a relationship (not just romantic ones) grows, we reveal more and more of ourselves to one another. In other words, we know each other better. We have shared with each other our sorrows and our happiness – our journey in life – ups and downs in our romantic relationships, marriage, religions, death of family member, our MOTHERS… All these strengthen our friendship.
I guess it is not so much of the time you spend with each other. It is the emotional support you give each other that really matters. I feel that to maintain a relationship, each must make an effort. And when you do give (as in contribute to the relationship), don’t ask for returns – in the “rule of equity”, a relationship like that will die off eventually. But when you start asking for returns, you will be suffering.
Trust me. I’ve been there.
Friday, November 10, 2006
We Are Back
We met up with two graduates yesterday. Mrs Nah and I shared with each other later, that it's occassion like this that really made us proud and feel the sense of satisfaction: seeing that our students finally grow up, mature, starting their own career, become sensible...
Just like our students, we have all been deviant in our lives.
I was the depressed teenager, decided to major in psychology (which freaked The Mom out because it was such a "huh-what-is-that" subject) even though I had no idea what to do with the degree after that... Mrs Nah wanted to do radio since primary school... we were not quite "approved" by our parents based on their yardsticks. But the most important thing is, we survived. We never went the criminal way because we were very sure of what we wanted to do. And today, our parents (still think that we are deviant because of we don't quite listen to them) sort of let us off -- our dreams before, considered devianced, turned out to be more than just alright.
I guess in our lives, we need to do something out of the ordinary sometimes. (And no that does not include smoking and smoking "sisha" and drugs and cheating and others "morally challenged" things).
Back to the graudates, they too did some deviance acts before (skipping schools etc) but at the end of the day, we learn, we grow. We might be conformists, but we know where we are heading to. And that's the most important thing - know your destination. And be appreciative.
Just like our students, we have all been deviant in our lives.
I was the depressed teenager, decided to major in psychology (which freaked The Mom out because it was such a "huh-what-is-that" subject) even though I had no idea what to do with the degree after that... Mrs Nah wanted to do radio since primary school... we were not quite "approved" by our parents based on their yardsticks. But the most important thing is, we survived. We never went the criminal way because we were very sure of what we wanted to do. And today, our parents (still think that we are deviant because of we don't quite listen to them) sort of let us off -- our dreams before, considered devianced, turned out to be more than just alright.
I guess in our lives, we need to do something out of the ordinary sometimes. (And no that does not include smoking and smoking "sisha" and drugs and cheating and others "morally challenged" things).
Back to the graudates, they too did some deviance acts before (skipping schools etc) but at the end of the day, we learn, we grow. We might be conformists, but we know where we are heading to. And that's the most important thing - know your destination. And be appreciative.
Monday, November 06, 2006
The Spring of Life
I went for a picnic with my family over the weekend. (Yes I do have a boring life).
As I grow older, I begin to understand more the importance of family members, our primary group. I am beginning to appreciate more and more that, while career and work is important, family is irreplaceable. Especially if you work in a bureaucracy. In a bureaucracy, it is the position that's important, not so much of a person. Your boss would tell you "this organisation will move like a bus and if the route of the bus is not where you are going, you get off" or something to that effect. The structure and system of a bureaucracy is there so that in case one man is down the business can go on - in other words, it is not so much of a person. I have a mixed feeling about this because I like to think that at the end of the day, it is the people that count, not the system. It's the people that would make a difference, not the system. On the other hand, I have to agree that system must be in place.
But family is different. Without a family member (especially if yours is a closed-knitted family), it makes a whole lot of difference! I remember how my late material grandfather became totally depressed after his wife passed away - he died 3 months later. And I suspected it was more because of a broken heart than other illnesses.
Family will always be there for me. No matter what happens. We share the ups and downs that happens in each other's life. At the end of the day, job and other things come and go, but family never goes away.
Which is why every time I leave home for a tour, I always, ALWAYS fear that it would be the last time I see my family. I would want to write a final note for my loved ones, leave a will, or something. This fear has grown through time. Previously, I loved flying and would never think twice. But as I get older, I am beginning to feel more because I know the time I get to spend with The Mom in particular, is decreasing as the day passes. Not that she's seriously ill, but you see, we are destined to live a certain number of years. I will never know when that day will come. And I fear that it would be sooner than I thought. When that happens, I fear that I may not be able to handle it emotionally.
Because she will forever be the spring of my life.
As I grow older, I begin to understand more the importance of family members, our primary group. I am beginning to appreciate more and more that, while career and work is important, family is irreplaceable. Especially if you work in a bureaucracy. In a bureaucracy, it is the position that's important, not so much of a person. Your boss would tell you "this organisation will move like a bus and if the route of the bus is not where you are going, you get off" or something to that effect. The structure and system of a bureaucracy is there so that in case one man is down the business can go on - in other words, it is not so much of a person. I have a mixed feeling about this because I like to think that at the end of the day, it is the people that count, not the system. It's the people that would make a difference, not the system. On the other hand, I have to agree that system must be in place.
But family is different. Without a family member (especially if yours is a closed-knitted family), it makes a whole lot of difference! I remember how my late material grandfather became totally depressed after his wife passed away - he died 3 months later. And I suspected it was more because of a broken heart than other illnesses.
Family will always be there for me. No matter what happens. We share the ups and downs that happens in each other's life. At the end of the day, job and other things come and go, but family never goes away.
Which is why every time I leave home for a tour, I always, ALWAYS fear that it would be the last time I see my family. I would want to write a final note for my loved ones, leave a will, or something. This fear has grown through time. Previously, I loved flying and would never think twice. But as I get older, I am beginning to feel more because I know the time I get to spend with The Mom in particular, is decreasing as the day passes. Not that she's seriously ill, but you see, we are destined to live a certain number of years. I will never know when that day will come. And I fear that it would be sooner than I thought. When that happens, I fear that I may not be able to handle it emotionally.
Because she will forever be the spring of my life.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Sleepless in New York
So we arrived in New York at about 10.30pm because of the flight delayed.
New York was a city that never sleeps. After we checked in to the hotel, we went out searching for food. And to our surprise, the entire Time Square was still pretty much alive! Planet Hollywood was still very much opened, so was Hard Rock café, and the Swatch boutique, and many more… We stayed at the theater district so Broadway was just one street away. This was when I suddenly realized, hey, this whole scene looked familiar! I’ve watched it on TV, on the movies, just too many times.
But that was not what set me thinking. Amidst the high-rise buildings and modernity, you see just as many old buildings around – for example, the famous St Patrick Cathedral, built in 1868. Or Macy’s (since 1902). Or many other old buildings that are still being used, upgraded, and remained as popular destinations for various activities. All these, and of course a lot of other things, have become a very unique New York culture, and have become the icons of New York City.
And I looked back at Singapore’s very own “preservation”. We have been trying very hard to preserve certain buildings. For example, the old post office (now The Fullerton), the old SJI (now Singapore Arts Museum), the old CHIJ (now CHIJMES), the old high court (going to be an arts museum), and of course the good old Chinatown. So what’s the problem?
I guess the problem is when we try to preserve these buildings we somehow only manage to preserve the “hardware”. Take Chinatown for example. How many of us actually would visit Chinatown? Or has it pretty much become a “tourist area”?
We need to retain its originality. Macy’s was built as Macy’s and remained as Macy’s. The buildings, the activities, are part and parcel of a culture. It is the life behind the buildings that make them unique, that make them part of a culture – not how it looks, not how we can turn it around and make it commercially viable.
I don’t know how it is possible for this to be done in Singapore. What I am saying is that, with a 41 years history, we seem to be leaving behind our “spirit” too fast. Culture is not something that you can teach – you have to immerse in it, you have to instill in people. It is not just a facet that looks good on the outside. What makes a culture attractive is its long history – and that includes how the people live their daily lives, and how these architectural designs reflect that.
Culture is something we need to live in. It is life.
New York was a city that never sleeps. After we checked in to the hotel, we went out searching for food. And to our surprise, the entire Time Square was still pretty much alive! Planet Hollywood was still very much opened, so was Hard Rock café, and the Swatch boutique, and many more… We stayed at the theater district so Broadway was just one street away. This was when I suddenly realized, hey, this whole scene looked familiar! I’ve watched it on TV, on the movies, just too many times.
But that was not what set me thinking. Amidst the high-rise buildings and modernity, you see just as many old buildings around – for example, the famous St Patrick Cathedral, built in 1868. Or Macy’s (since 1902). Or many other old buildings that are still being used, upgraded, and remained as popular destinations for various activities. All these, and of course a lot of other things, have become a very unique New York culture, and have become the icons of New York City.
And I looked back at Singapore’s very own “preservation”. We have been trying very hard to preserve certain buildings. For example, the old post office (now The Fullerton), the old SJI (now Singapore Arts Museum), the old CHIJ (now CHIJMES), the old high court (going to be an arts museum), and of course the good old Chinatown. So what’s the problem?
I guess the problem is when we try to preserve these buildings we somehow only manage to preserve the “hardware”. Take Chinatown for example. How many of us actually would visit Chinatown? Or has it pretty much become a “tourist area”?
We need to retain its originality. Macy’s was built as Macy’s and remained as Macy’s. The buildings, the activities, are part and parcel of a culture. It is the life behind the buildings that make them unique, that make them part of a culture – not how it looks, not how we can turn it around and make it commercially viable.
I don’t know how it is possible for this to be done in Singapore. What I am saying is that, with a 41 years history, we seem to be leaving behind our “spirit” too fast. Culture is not something that you can teach – you have to immerse in it, you have to instill in people. It is not just a facet that looks good on the outside. What makes a culture attractive is its long history – and that includes how the people live their daily lives, and how these architectural designs reflect that.
Culture is something we need to live in. It is life.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Crossing the River
The river is called generation gap. Or to be exact, cultural gap.
I know, because I taught Cross Cultural Communication. I believe that each one of us is a "subculture" of our own. We are subset of this bigger culture called our family, then our ethnicity, and race, and nationality, and regional, and then we are part of mankind. (Buddhism recognises that each of us is just like a "small cosmos", which is part of this grand cosmos that we live in).
I value my personal culture a lot because it takes up to build up. Of course, The Mother also treasures her personal culture and the family culture that she established to the extend of trying to defend it.
That's what I meant by cultural gap.
OK I complain about my mother a lot. But she's not that bad, really. It just take a little bit more understanding, and accommodating, especially when you try to see it from her perspectives and where she is coming from.
It is not easy trying to accommodate The Mother. That would mean giving up part of the personal culture. In the literature, sociologists have recognised several ways of intercultural marriages patterns - no it's not a marriage, but in any kind of relationship, it all involves two people communicating to each other.
Let me give you an example -
The Mom: Oh you have pancake mix. It's going to expire. Let's make pancake for breakfast.
The Mom:... so where is your ladle? Do you have measuring cup? Where is your spatula?
Me: Here. Don't need measurement cup. I just "agak-agak". Let me do it.
The Mom:...how come it takes so long? You should cover the pan. It will cook faster.
Me: No. You need to be patience... so that it's cooked inside slowly... you cannot cover because you need to see the bubbles burst, which is an indication of whether it is cooked or not...
Next Day...
The Mom: (started cooking the pancake while I shower) Come, I've prepared pancake for breakfast. And I covered the pan. It cooked faster. You should do the same.
Me: But the colour is not nice. Mine looks nicer.
The Mom: Aiya... no need to be nice.
Me: It's a bit powdery.
The Mom: Huh? Not nice ah? (turned slightly defensive)
Me: Not really lah (trying to be nice). Taste a bit weird.
The Mom: It's not the cover lah. I put in more oil because I think it's very dry.
The Mom: So next time you should cover. (Sounds like a final word - that's how I should cook my pancake henceforth.)
You see. She set the culture - how things should be done (that's part of a cultural system too), and she expects her children to follow it.
What do you do to cross this river?
I don't drown. I just suffocate myself. Ha.
I know, because I taught Cross Cultural Communication. I believe that each one of us is a "subculture" of our own. We are subset of this bigger culture called our family, then our ethnicity, and race, and nationality, and regional, and then we are part of mankind. (Buddhism recognises that each of us is just like a "small cosmos", which is part of this grand cosmos that we live in).
I value my personal culture a lot because it takes up to build up. Of course, The Mother also treasures her personal culture and the family culture that she established to the extend of trying to defend it.
That's what I meant by cultural gap.
OK I complain about my mother a lot. But she's not that bad, really. It just take a little bit more understanding, and accommodating, especially when you try to see it from her perspectives and where she is coming from.
It is not easy trying to accommodate The Mother. That would mean giving up part of the personal culture. In the literature, sociologists have recognised several ways of intercultural marriages patterns - no it's not a marriage, but in any kind of relationship, it all involves two people communicating to each other.
Let me give you an example -
The Mom: Oh you have pancake mix. It's going to expire. Let's make pancake for breakfast.
The Mom:... so where is your ladle? Do you have measuring cup? Where is your spatula?
Me: Here. Don't need measurement cup. I just "agak-agak". Let me do it.
The Mom:...how come it takes so long? You should cover the pan. It will cook faster.
Me: No. You need to be patience... so that it's cooked inside slowly... you cannot cover because you need to see the bubbles burst, which is an indication of whether it is cooked or not...
Next Day...
The Mom: (started cooking the pancake while I shower) Come, I've prepared pancake for breakfast. And I covered the pan. It cooked faster. You should do the same.
Me: But the colour is not nice. Mine looks nicer.
The Mom: Aiya... no need to be nice.
Me: It's a bit powdery.
The Mom: Huh? Not nice ah? (turned slightly defensive)
Me: Not really lah (trying to be nice). Taste a bit weird.
The Mom: It's not the cover lah. I put in more oil because I think it's very dry.
The Mom: So next time you should cover. (Sounds like a final word - that's how I should cook my pancake henceforth.)
You see. She set the culture - how things should be done (that's part of a cultural system too), and she expects her children to follow it.
What do you do to cross this river?
I don't drown. I just suffocate myself. Ha.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
The Sound of Heart
Being an educator takes a whole lot of conscience. My mother, who was an ex-school principal, always says that education is a career of conscience. I couldn't agree more.
It is not just a job, but a career. I always believe that as an educator, when it comes to decision making (what to teach, how to teach, what materials to show, how to assess, even the administration procedures....), the first question an educator should ask is "how would this benefit the students?".
I ponder about the question "what makes a good teacher" all the time. I guess no one can give us the right answers, because every student would have different needs. Nevertheless, I feel that at the end of the day, a good teacher, or an educator should show real altruism.
Cynical psychologists would not agree that one can be totally altruistic - they believe that no matter what, one gets rewards, be it tangible rewards or intangible ones such as you would feel better, it satisfies your ego, reduces guilt....
I have seen teachers who treat their jobs as just, well, a job. They bring home the bread. They do things to impress the management. They have their own career aspirations. They want to climb the corporate ladder. Students would probably be a side dish.
Nevertheless, I like to be more optimistic. I think there are still teachers around who can face their own conscience, and say it in the most altruistic way that "yes I have done my best for the students." It may not be the right thing, but we have tried our best.
So, what makes a good teacher to you?
It is not just a job, but a career. I always believe that as an educator, when it comes to decision making (what to teach, how to teach, what materials to show, how to assess, even the administration procedures....), the first question an educator should ask is "how would this benefit the students?".
I ponder about the question "what makes a good teacher" all the time. I guess no one can give us the right answers, because every student would have different needs. Nevertheless, I feel that at the end of the day, a good teacher, or an educator should show real altruism.
Cynical psychologists would not agree that one can be totally altruistic - they believe that no matter what, one gets rewards, be it tangible rewards or intangible ones such as you would feel better, it satisfies your ego, reduces guilt....
I have seen teachers who treat their jobs as just, well, a job. They bring home the bread. They do things to impress the management. They have their own career aspirations. They want to climb the corporate ladder. Students would probably be a side dish.
Nevertheless, I like to be more optimistic. I think there are still teachers around who can face their own conscience, and say it in the most altruistic way that "yes I have done my best for the students." It may not be the right thing, but we have tried our best.
So, what makes a good teacher to you?
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