The Spring of Life

I went for a picnic with my family over the weekend. (Yes I do have a boring life).

As I grow older, I begin to understand more the importance of family members, our primary group. I am beginning to appreciate more and more that, while career and work is important, family is irreplaceable. Especially if you work in a bureaucracy. In a bureaucracy, it is the position that's important, not so much of a person. Your boss would tell you "this organisation will move like a bus and if the route of the bus is not where you are going, you get off" or something to that effect. The structure and system of a bureaucracy is there so that in case one man is down the business can go on - in other words, it is not so much of a person. I have a mixed feeling about this because I like to think that at the end of the day, it is the people that count, not the system. It's the people that would make a difference, not the system. On the other hand, I have to agree that system must be in place.

But family is different. Without a family member (especially if yours is a closed-knitted family), it makes a whole lot of difference! I remember how my late material grandfather became totally depressed after his wife passed away - he died 3 months later. And I suspected it was more because of a broken heart than other illnesses.

Family will always be there for me. No matter what happens. We share the ups and downs that happens in each other's life. At the end of the day, job and other things come and go, but family never goes away.

Which is why every time I leave home for a tour, I always, ALWAYS fear that it would be the last time I see my family. I would want to write a final note for my loved ones, leave a will, or something. This fear has grown through time. Previously, I loved flying and would never think twice. But as I get older, I am beginning to feel more because I know the time I get to spend with The Mom in particular, is decreasing as the day passes. Not that she's seriously ill, but you see, we are destined to live a certain number of years. I will never know when that day will come. And I fear that it would be sooner than I thought. When that happens, I fear that I may not be able to handle it emotionally.

Because she will forever be the spring of my life.