Keeping a marriage is a very challenging thing. Sociologists point to the developed society we are in for marital breakdown - dual income families, lack of support from the extended families, high literacy rate, ease of getting a divorce... No doubt about that - but personally, I think those are circumstantial factors. And the end of the day, it boils down to two individuals - or to be specific, it boils down to just one person, the I.
How we see ourselves and how we see other people don't change in tandem with the advancement of the society - human nature doesn't change that rapidly. It is the "I" who decides on how "I" judge others, especially "my" spouse. Did he bring flowers home tonight because he loves me? Or did he bring flowers home tonight because he has done something wrong? It's how "I" interpret the incidents. And we can't blame the "I" because it is human nature.
I thought about this because someone I know has expressed little trust to her husband of many years. She got into a scenario of illusory correlation, and hence looked out for clues that would confirm her bias. Which of course made life difficult for the husband and wife.
Sometimes we just lack a little bit of confidence, a little bit of paitence, and a little bit of trust.
And that's the most important elements in marriage. At the end of the day, marriage is not about love. It is about leading a life together.
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